With Father’s Day coming up on Sunday, I thought I’d share a little about my writing I’ve been working on. I recently made the decision to start trying to understand and break a pattern that’s been repeating itself throughout my life, and so I am writing about it. Ive been dedicating a block of time every week to ensure I see it through. I’ve already written eight chapters, and I believe this may well be the most important book I have ever written.
In order for me to understand this negative pattern, and what has caused me so much pain, confusion, and emotional turmoil over the years (not to mention relationship issues), I am writing about it all so that I can delve deeper, with the hope of gaining some understanding of where it has all stemmed from, so I can break it once and for all. What I do know, is that this pattern circles around my relationships with males in my life.
To give you a bit of insight into what it’s about, I am exploring every single relationship with a male I have ever had. From my dear grandfather (whom I adore), to my absent father, my stepfather who committed suicide, and every single intimate relationship I’ve ever had. Let me say that this is not an easy process, but I know with all of my soul that it is a vital one I must go through.
I’m not sure whether or not what I’m writing will be shared with anyone yet, much less whether I will be publishing it. I do know however, that it is life changing, and I will make the decision about whether it will be shared once I have completed the book.
I’m sharing this with you for one reason. It’s to remind you of the incredible power of writing. Not only is it extremely therapeutic, but it is also a wonderful tool for healing the soul. I love you all, and I will keep you updated on my progress.
Lots of love,
Founder & Director
We all know that frustrating feeling of being blocked; of being in a place where you feel stuck, lost or confused about where you’re at on your journey. There’s that niggling feeling that something needs to change,but you don’t quite know what it is yet. Or, perhaps you already know what needs to change, but you’re too scared to take action. Time and time again, you come across road blocks that stop you from making any progress, even when you think you’re doing everything in your power to try and move forward.
The key to removing these blocks?
So here you are again
The wheel has fully turned
Now it’s time to make a choice
About what you have learned
Do you let it go another round
And repeat it all again?
Or have you finally reached a point
Knowing it will never end?
The wheel will keep on turning
The past will still repeat
Until you make a conscious choice:
Is this it what you really need?
It’s like you’re stuck in motion
Not knowing how to stop
Asking why nothing changes
Or why you feel so blocked
It doesn’t have to be this way
But something has to change
Will you jump off the wheel
Or go around again?
Sometimes in life, you’ve just gotta jump in. You may be scared of rejection or failure, be filled with self doubt, or succumbing to the expectations of those around you, but who is in control here?
That’s right. You.
If you feel it in your heart, in your gut, and notice that spark of truth and knowing that this is the direction you’re meant to be going, trust it.
Trust it even if you feel uncertain and nervous at first.
The fear, self doubt and uncertainty will soon fade once you align yourself with your truth, and notice just how swiftly and smoothly everything falls into place for you. Your nervousness will turn into excitement, and your personal truth and purpose will become clearer than ever before, because you’re living it.
I’ve been there, and all of it is true. How do you think I am where I am now?
Because I jumped in.
I’ve changed. This is what I’ve been told, and that’s okay, because I agree. I have.
I’m stronger, I’m awake, and now I can clearly see who I actually always was.
I’ve changed, but not in the way you think. I’m still the same person; still the same soul, but now I live authentically, instead of being the person that others want or expect me to be. I was always here. You just didn’t see me, and I didn’t either.
I’ve been through my share of pain, heartache and frustration, there’s no doubt about that, but I’ve allowed myself tofeel that pain; to let it flow through me so that I could grow.
I’ve made a conscious choice over the years to use my pain and challenges as learning experiences, rather than bottling things up and allowing them to eat away at my soul.
It’s a choice I have made, and I understand that not everyone is able to do that. Often, it seems easier and less uncomfortable to just bury these things, in the hope that they’ll be forgotten and heal on their own.
But they don’t. Time alone doesn’t heal. Blocking the pain out doesn’t make it magically disappear. It just prolongs the healing, and causes other areas of your self to become infected in the process.
And herein lies the difference between you and I.
I’ve felt my way through my journey, using my pain as fertiliser for my soul, which has helped me to grow and flourish. I no longer wear a mask. I have no buried pain. The journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.
You, however, can’t even seem to recognise your pain anymore. It was buried long ago and slowly but surely, part of your soul became hidden along with it. You’ve grown older and life has changed around you, but the inner stuff; the stuff feeds your soul, has remained stagnant.
So, when you say that I have changed-yes, I have. I’ve allowed my heart to crack open when it hurt the most and I surrendered myself to it all so that I could learn from it. Grow from it. And ultimately, this allowed me to fall back in love with myself. I’ve changed because I’m now aligned with who I really am. I am now Me; the me I always was.
This is a blog post primarily for my friends and family, or for anyone I’m connected to that doesn’t really know what I do for work. But, it’s also for me.
I was asked yesterday what my one word for 2017 is going to be, and I didn’t even need to think twice about it.
My word is REAL.
So, the first thing I’ve decided to tick off my list for this year is to stop being selective with where and with whom I share my true beliefs and who I really am, for the sake of not ‘ruffling any feathers’.
For some reason or another, I only talk about my working life to select people. I know that what I do for a living can be perceived as ‘out there’, ‘weird’ and at times, awkward for people to hear, but you know what? I’m so absolutely blessed to be doing what I do every day, and I’ve come to the realisation that it’s not up to me as to how others perceive my way of life; it’s up to them. I am who I am, I love what I do, and I’m damn proud of my work.
Most people who know me, know that I run my own business and that I work from home. Most even know that I am a publisher, too. But the part of my work that rarely gets talked about (mostly because I find that people get uncomfortable about how to respond) is that not only am I a writer and publisher, but I am a Lightworker.
I am a Lightworker who communicates with Spirit (passed loved ones, angels, ascended masters, even beings from other planets). I channel information and messages both for myself and for others, to provide guidance, support, clarity and direction on this journey we call life. I even sometimes see people’s past lives and totem animals. The more I do this, the more I’m learning and accessing. It’s super exciting and rewarding!
To me, getting random messages from Spirit is an everyday occurrence, and is not ‘weird’ at all. Of course, some of the people I know whom I’ve shared this with don’t believe me, or change the subject faster than the speed of light, but that’s okay. I don’t need to get into an argument about what the ‘truth’ is, because I know what it is. The thousands of people I help every single day know it’s the truth, so that’s all that matters.
So, how did I get to where I am now? Some people who have known me for more than 5 years might be reading this and wondering how things changed so dramatically from where I previously was. Let me just say though, I’m still the same person. I’ve just found my true purpose now.
It was shortly after I miscarried back in 2012 that I began to write, and that very first piece I wrote about my life so far had me bleeding the words onto the pages. I felt liberated and free after letting my story out. After that, I felt compelled to keep writing and put together some articles as well as some books that have now been published. Through my writing I began to understand that there was a much bigger force in play with life itself than I had ever realised. And this is where my spiritual journey began.
From then on, I researched, I studied, and I read; about the universe, past lives, the Other Side, spirit guides, tarot, Angels, life. The list goes on, and for anyone else who has experienced an ‘awakening’, you will know exactly what I mean when I say that the information just couldn’t be processed quickly enough. I couldn’t get enough, and I just wanted to keep learning more. I wanted to know so much more about why I was here, what my purpose was, and what life meant. And so I did.
For several years I studied and worked in early childhood education, and absolutely loved my position as director of a small long daycare centre. The beautiful relationships that I formed over the years- with staff, families and children made my work just that much more rewarding. While I am still very passionate about early childhood education, I decided to become a ‘stay at home Mum’ after my youngest son, Nate was born in 2013. As most of you already know, Nate was born with two significant holes in his heart and had life-saving open heart surgery when he was ten days old, so this was the deciding factor in my decision to resign from my full time job, which I did in early 2014.
Since then, I’ve never looked back, and I now have two successful businesses I run from home (with one more – a charity – about to be launched). Helping people in such a profound way each and every single day through my spirit communication work, and making writers’ dreams come true through my publishing business, is so magnificently rewarding. I wouldn’t change it for the world. So, I ask myself now, “why wouldn’t I share how blessed I am with absolutely everyone I know? What I do is not just important, but life changing for many people. I’m proud of what I do. I’m proud of who I am.
So, no more filtering.
No more worrying about whether people might feel awkward about what I do.
I am still me. But now, you know all of me.