Category Archives: Emotions

Remove your blocks by being REAL: 10 questions to ask yourself

We all know that frustrating feeling of being blocked; of being in a place where you feel stuck, lost or confused about where you’re at on your journey. There’s that niggling feeling that something needs to change,but you don’t quite know what it is yet. Or, perhaps you already know what needs to change, but you’re too scared to take action. Time and time again, you come across road blocks that stop you from making any progress, even when you think you’re doing everything in your power to try and move forward.

The key to removing these blocks?

Being real.

The definition of real, according to the dictionary is: not imitation or artificial; genuine.
Now, can you honestly say that right now, you are being 100% real? If you’re feeling blocked at all – in any area of your life – then it’s very likely that you’re not (even if you think you are). Let’s explore this a little further, while I give you examples of how you can be real, and in the process, remove those nasty blocks!
1. Who are you, really?
Ask yourself this question and be brutally honest. Try not to use labels or words that describe what you do, because you are so much more than that. You may be a parent or a teacher, follow a certain religion or be part of a sporting team, but once again, you are more than that, too. This question needs to be answered on a soul level. Who are you, in all your entirety?
2. What are you passionate about?
What gives you that warm, fuzzy, excited feeling inside? What could you talk about for hours on end? Is there something that you just want to know more and more about? Are you actively doing something about this passion, or do you see it as just a dream?
3. What are you not saying?
What are the things that you’re not speaking up about? Are you bottling up unexpressed feelings or not talking about your true beliefs out of fear of judgment? Is there something that you know deep down needs to be said? Ask yourself why you aren’t speaking your truth.
4. Are all of your relationships (family included) healthy and do you have clear boundaries in place? Do you let others treat you poorly or do they have unrealistic expectations of you? Are there people in your life with whom you walk on eggshells just to keep the peace?
Do you feel comfortable being yourself around these people? It may be time to reconsider who is on this journey with you, and whether or not they have a role in your life that serves your highest good. It’s okay to remove toxic people from your life. Yes, even family. In cases where you simply must maintain contact with family members, you can still cut the energetic cords between you.
5. Are you happy with your job?
Your job, career, study plans, day to day routine… whatever you want to call it based on your own situation, you always have a choice. If you’re unhappy getting up every morning because you don’t genuinely look forward to your day each day, then something’s got to change. Again, it may be an expectation of others that you ‘keep at it’, but does that fulfil your needs, or theirs?

6. What are you afraid of?
I’m not going to give you the whole, “fear is just a thought” lecture, because everyone knows that already, and if you’re genuinely feeling fearful, then compassion is what is needed. I will let you know however, that whatever your fears are, you can and will overcome them, if you make the conscious decision to do so. There is always support out there and people willing to help you to face this fear, so when you’re ready, ask for help- it’s one of the most courageous things you can do. And, for those of you whose fear is the unknown, please know this. The unknown is where the real magic happens. True story.
7. What or who do you need to let go of? 
The possible answers to this question are endless – relationships (of any kind), patterns of behaviour, pain from the past, guilt, regret, unhealthy thoughts and environments… you get my drift. It simply must be done if you want to live authentically. The key to letting go however, is not just saying, “ok I let go of this, this and that”. You have to be brutally honest with yourself and truly, wholeheartedly, Let. It. The. Fuck. Go. Letting go means that it is gone; never to return, never to be dwelled over or engaged in again. If you’re not ready to confront something, then you’re not ready to release it.

8. Do you love yourself? I mean really, truly love very aspect of yourself? When you look in the mirror, do you stand there proudly, knowing you are your whole, beautiful damn self? When you talk about yourself to others, or to yourself, are you positive and speak about yourself with love? Do you hold your head high and face the world with eyes wide open? Do you truly believe that you are deserving of love, respect, and greatness? Do you recognise how powerful you are and allow yourself to use it?
9. What do you feel is missing from your life?
I’m not talking about a new car, a massive house, or some piece of jewellery here. I’m talking about asking yourself what you feel is missing on a soul level. What do you yearn for? What keeps drawing you in? That ache in your heart, the missing puzzle piece- what is it? And why aren’t you doing everything in your power to go after it?
10. Are you ready to embrace change? What are you willing to do about all of the above? Being your real, unfiltered self takes courage, because not everyone is going to like being confronted with such a powerful, authentic being (it’s their problem, not yours, by the way, and they’re probably wishing they could be as brave as you).
If you want to remove your blocks, start with these questions. I guarantee you, that if you’re courageous enough (which I know you are) to address even one of these questions, you’ll begin to notice those  heavy, confusing blocks lifting away, as if by magic.
You’ve got this. All you need to do, is be who you really are.
Christie is a Lightworker, publisher, and writer, and is the founder and director of White Light Universal. 

Christie prides herself on being authentic and seeing the light and love in everyone she meets, and this shines through in both the healing and guidance she provides for her clients, as well as helping writers’ and artists’ publishing dreams come true. 

Her passions are writing, mental health, children’s rights, and playing a part in healing humanity.

Check out her website

The Wheel

So here you are again

The wheel has fully turned

Now it’s time to make a choice

About what you have learned


Do you let it go another round

And repeat it all again?

Or have you finally reached a point 

Knowing it will never end?


The wheel will keep on turning

The past will still repeat

Until you make a conscious choice:

Is this it what you really need? 


It’s like you’re stuck in motion

Not knowing how to stop

Asking why nothing changes 

Or why you feel so blocked 


It doesn’t have to be this way

But something has to change 

Will you jump off the wheel

Or go around again?

The Empath Mum

As anyone who’s an Empath knows, it’s not always easy. Nor is being a parent; but when you combine the two, it can be mayhem! Of course, being both a Mum and an Empath has its rewards too. 

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the term Empath, here is a brief description (you may just find yourself reading this and having an ‘aha’ moment).

An Empath is someone who feels and takes on the emotions and energy of other people, situations and environments. This is not just empathy, but fully feeling these emotions and energy as if they were your very own. Empaths also have a ‘knowing’ that goes beyond gut feelings or intuition.  

So, you can probably imagine that in addition to the everyday challenges that being a parent entails, adding this gift to the mix certainly makes for an interesting experience day in, day out. 

Don’t get me wrong; being an Empath as a mother gives me some wonderful advantages. Having this ‘knowing’ means that I’m able to relate to my children on such a unique level, and the majority of the time, I needn’t even ask what’s wrong because I just ‘know’. Even if there’s not necessarily anything amiss with one of my children, I still know exactly what they need at any given time; whether it means they’re getting sick or just need to snuggle for a while. 

For example, my two year old who isn’t quite verbal as yet, can simply look at me and most of the time, I know exactly what he needs or wants without trying to figure it out by questioning him. Sometimes, I’m even onto it before he is! 

The difficult side to this gift is being able to feel my children’s emotions as my own  when it becomes overwhelming for me. As everyone does, we all have challenges in life to deal with, and emotions of our own to understand and process, but when you add three more little people’s emotions to this, it can become quite daunting and make you feel like you’re carrying around the weight of the world. For example, if my teenager is feeling all hormonal and confused about his world, I feel it too. If my baby girl feels genuinely heartbroken because Dad just left to go to work, I feel it too. You get the gist…  

At times, I’ve felt like just curling up in a ball and crying, and that’s okay, because it is a very overwhelming gift to have. But at the same time, I am extremely blessed to be able to share this wonderfully deep connection with my children. Once I was aware of what it means to be an Empath, and learnt more about it, things started to become much easier, and I now see this gift in a whole new light. 

There are likely many, many parents out there who can completely relate to what I’m describing, and I want you to know that you’re not alone; and you’re certainly not crazy (even though at times, it may feel that way)! Being an Empath can be challenging and painful at the best of times, but when you’re a parent as well, and don’t know how to manage this gift, your heart and mind can get quite messy indeed. 

But, once you have the awareness, and the tools to properly manage everything that being an Empath entails, you will quickly realise just how very special a gift it is, and why you’ve been blessed with it. It’s not always easy, but the rewards that come with this gift far outweigh the challenges. 

I am more than happy to connect with anyone who would like to chat about this further, or who would simply like to share their experiences of being an Empath parent. I can be contacted through either of my Facebook pages here:

White Light for the Soul
White Light Publishing House

Road trip to Pokhara 

25 February 

Today we set off on our road trip to Pokhara. We met with our guide Yagya and driver Manu, and he gave us a brief history on Nepal. Our first stop was a quaint little place on the side of the highway balled Hamlet Restaurant, which was in Dhading; 54km out of Kathmandu. It wasn’t long before we began discussing the earthquakes from last year (April 25th and May 12th 2015). 10,000 people lost their lives, at least 200,000 are now homeless and 500,000 homes were lost, including our guide’s home. He showed us a photo of what used to be his home. The house was built by his grandfather just after the 1934 earthquake, and so it had been in his family for over eighty years. He hasn’t started rebuilding yet as he is waiting on the financial support that the government has promised (even though it’s not nearly enough, in my opinion). So, he now lives in Bhaktapur with his parents and his children. He has three children, with his eldest daughter who is fourteen years old having cerebral palsy. Yagya began to get very emotional, so we told him if it’s too much for him to talk about we won’t be offended if he asks us to stop. 

 Off we went again, and our next stop was Manakamana Temple. Manakamana means ‘wish fulfiller’ and is a Hindu goddess. We took a cable car up to the temple, which was extremely steep and had some incredible views of the Tishula River and surrounds. The first thing I noticed once we hopped off the cable car was the brilliant sight of colours everywhere! Little stalls were scattered everywhere with selections of ‘offerings’ that you could buy to place at the temple to be blessed. We had a selection of coconut, flowers, sweets, rice and red powdered turmeric. Once our offerings were blessed, Yagya showed us how to place the tikka on our forehead (mixture of turmeric and rice) and wrap the coloured band around our necks, and we sat down and shared the offerings (coconut and sweets). While the practices of the Hindu religion are fascinating, there is one aspect that I do not agree with, and upsets me, and that is the sacrificing of animals. We saw lots of goats and bulls tied up, ready to be sacrificed, and it just made me so sad.     We weren’t able to go right up to the temple, because there were just so many people there waiting in line, and we weren’t able to wait there all day. So, we sat down for some lunch and let Yagya order a traditional Nepali meal for us, of rice, spinach, lentil soup, a pappadum type thing, and yoghurt. It was delicious and so filling. And it was so cheap! Only around $9 AUD for all three of us (including drinks)!  

   Our next stop was a lovely old traditional Newari village called Bandipur. Bandipur is set high up in a hilltop (approximately 1000 metres high) and as soon as we got out of the car, we were greeted by a group of young boys who had just finished school. They were so cheeky, and were asking us for chocolate, and as soon as we got our cameras out, they were posing. So precious.   
  As were walking along, an elderly man asked us where we are from. As soon as we responded “Australia”, his eyes lit up and he walked with us. He told us how his son had gone to Australia fifteen years ago, at the age of 17, and that he was missing. He hadn’t heard from his son for eleven years. “I’m much sorrow”, he said, “his mother wants to die, she’s so sad”. I suggested that we take his son’s details, and maybe we could share information on Facebook or do whatever we could to help, and his whole demeanour changed. It was if we had just given him a glimmer of hope for the first time in a very long time. With the help of our guide translating, we explained that we couldn’t promise anything but that we would do what we could to share his information, and maybe, just maybe, someone may know something. After we took down all the details, I asked if I could give him a hug. Both Mum and I each gave him a hug, and he began to cry. It was the most heartbreaking moment, yet he was smiling through his tears, and if all we managed to do today was give an old man an ounce of hope, then that makes me very happy indeed.  

 We left Bandipur with lots to process emotionally, and made our way to our final destination for the next two nights- Pokhara. The accommodation we had booked was way up the top of a hill; but not just any hill; the same hill where the World Peace Pagoda stands (Shanti Stupa). Our hotel – Peace Dragon Hotel- is only a four minute walk from the Peace Pagoda, so you can just imagine the energy that is here. Not only that, but we have a panoramic view of the Himalayan Ranges and Phewa Lake. Once we climbed the million and one steps (a slight exaggeration) to our accommodation, we sat for a cold drink and let the beauty of our surroundings soak in for a moment. Simply magnificent. 

 We were greeted by the owner Juliette, who is a lovely English woman, and she told us all about the area and what to expect during our stay. We already knew that our stay here was going to be special. After we put our things in our room (which mind you, has a floor to ceiling window and balcony overlooking the lake), we headed downstairs to have some dinner. Now, for anyone who doesn’t know, Nepal has power outages for hours at a time every day and night, and at this particular time, the power was out, so all we had for light at our outdoor table in the main courtyard was a candle. I sat down for a few minutes, then decided to get up to try and take a photo of the view. Silly me, stepped backwards, forgetting that there was a small set of stairs just behind me, and I fell. Not only did I fall awkwardly (as I always do), but I somehow managed to grab onto a cactus plant on my way down (with quite large needles in it). At the time, I though I’d just broken a normal pot plant. 

I got up and sat at the table and was complaining to Mum about my foot being sore, then I looked down at my hand. I freaked out, because I could see a heap of very sharp, long objects protruding out of the back of my hand, and in the dark, they looked to me like pieces of rusted wire. I started to feel all clammy and faint, and so we rushed inside for help. I had to compose myself because I felt like I was going to pass out (again, typical me), and everyone was trying to help, but I didn’t want them to touch my hand yet because it was making me feel sick. After a few minutes, I was ok, and then our beautiful guide pulled out the needles for me; some of which he needed to dig in to get with a makeshift sterilised needle. It hurt like hell, but I just kept thinking, “I’ve had three babies without drugs, this is nothing”. It helped, anyway.   

  Afterward, we all sat down to finally have a meal, and we had a nice chat amongst each other for hours; about religion, our experiences, and life in general. Aside from the little mishap, it was an incredible day, and a lovely night spent with amazing people. 

For information about the man from Bandipur and his missing son, please find information below: 

Father’s name: Ramchandra Devkota

Son’s name: Rupchandra Devkota

From Chitwan, Nepal

Rupchandra went to Sydney, Australia in approximately 2000-2001, and was 17 years old at the time. He would currently be around 32 years old. He hasn’t made contact with his family for 11 years
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/nepal/kathmandu-to-pokhara/bandipur/introduction

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanti_Stupa,_Pokhara

Why honesty is empowering 

I’ve realised something the last few days, and that is just how very empowering honesty is. 

Being honest with others, and most importantly, being honest with yourself

After posting my blog about my trip, and why Mum’s shouldn’t feel guilty about looking after themselves every once in a while, I received this message:

Honestly, you are amazing! I missed your first blog about your holiday and have only recently read it.

I cried whilst reading as I realised I’m one of this judgmental mums, I have always thought negatively about mums leaving their children to relax and have holidays. I have no problem with men doing it but always had issues with mums doing it.

I labelled them as selfish, uncaring and the list goes on.

UNTIL I read your blog.

I am embarrassed to say that these are my own issues and I am purely just jealous and envious and wish that I could do what you are doing.

You are doing such a selfless thing, by giving yourself the gift to recharge and heal you will be a better mum to your children than I am to mine purely because I am exhausted, cranky and unhappy most of the day.

So thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.

I will live this adventure through you until the day comes that I have worked through my own issues and take off on my own xox

This message was so inspiring to me, and I loved just how raw and honest it was. This Mum has not only been honest with me about my post, but she was also brutally honest with herself. This is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself, it truly is. 

So thank you to this amazing Mumma for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. You probably don’t even realise just how strong and powerful you are as a woman (not just a Mum), but I believe the message you sent me may just be the beginning of a beautiful journey within, and I am so honoured to have been able to ignite a spark in you without even intending to. 

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” 

– Brene Brown

  

No Room for Comparison 

Enough is enough. I’ve decided to make a promise to myself. A promise that I should have made long ago, and one that every person would benefit from making for themselves.

I promise to stop comparing myself to others.

It seems quite a simple commitment to make in such a small sentence; one that many people will know, that in reality, isn’t quite that easy. On the contrary, you may be reading this thinking, “Oh, I don’t do that anyway”, but let me ask you this: Can you honestly say that you never, ever judge yourself based on what others think of you (whether real or perceived), or that you don’t question your decisions with someone else’s beliefs or way of life at the back of your mind?

Perhaps you can, and if so, that’s wonderful. But for those of us that do need a little reminder, it’s time we took back our personal power and lived authentically!

When was the last time you stopped yourself mid-thought; wondering whether “X” would make the same decision? What would they do in the same situation? Should you do what they would do, or go with your own instinct? What would they think of your choices? Would you feel as though you’re being judged? Better still, what would society think of your the choices you make?

These are all questions that we need to stop asking ourselves when it comes to making life choices; whether it’s a big decision like changing careers, or an everyday choice such as whether you can afford to buy yourself that new book you’ve had your eye on.

Comparison comes in many forms. You may be comparing:

– Your career and the success you have in the workplace

– The way you look 

– Your relationships with others (family, marriage, friendships)

– The amount of money you earn 

– How you should ‘behave’ in certain situations 

…and the list could go on…

Now, let this sentence sink in for a moment:

Each time you compare yourself to another, you are taking away your own power.

Personally, I’m not too fussed with material things, such as having fashionable clothes, or the latest hairstyle. Comparing myself to someone based on what I have or don’t have, is not an issue for me (thankfully). For example, I couldn’t care less about owning a big fancy house; that’s not what’s important to me. I am however, happy for anyone who is able to have this for themselves, if that’s what brings them joy.

For me, at this point in my life, comparing my parenting choices to those of others (as well as what is ‘expected’ from society in general), is my greatest challenge, and one that I intend to put a stop to right now. The choices I make daily as a parent, is what I struggle with the most; even though in reality, I shouldn’t. The fact that I’ve been a parent now for almost thirteen years, have three children, and several years of early childhood education training and experience up my sleeve, still doesn’t seem to stop me from questioning my choices at times; simply because I am comparing myself to others, or wondering whether or not my decisions are ‘the best thing to do’ in societies’ eyes.

So, for anyone who finds themselves guilty of comparing themselves to others (in any form- not just parents), I ask you this:

Why do you allow yourself to do this? What makes you think that you are not capable or knowledgeable enough to make the best possible choices for yourself (or your children) without comparing yourself to others? Why do you even think that others would be judging you anyway, and if they are, why does it matter so much?

 

In my situation, there is quite a simple answer to this question. It’s because as a parent, I want the absolute best for my children; that’s a given. The choices I make however, should not be based on whether I think others would agree with me, or how other people might think or feel about my decision. I am the parent of my children, and ultimately, I know what’s best for them, based on how I want them to be raised.

If I co-sleep with my children because it helps me to get some sleep at night (and I sometimes like the snuggles myself), that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I take loved ones up on the offer to babysit my children for the night so my husband and I can go to the movies, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I enrol my children in daycare because I believe it is actually beneficial for their learning, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

And finally (this is a big one that I’ve been made to feel guilty about), if I want to go on a holiday and leave the kids at home with their Dad while I’m away, that’s my choice. I deserve a holiday and I own that choice.

It’s also important that I acknowledge the times where I don’t have the answers, or when I’m having a challenging time. 

When all I feel like doing is crawling up in bed and sleeping because the kids have kept me awake all night, that’s okay. I’m allowed to feel that way. 

When I sit my toddler in front of his favourite movie or give him the iPad to ‘keep him entertained’ so I can have a moment’s peace to fold the washing or heaven forbid, go to the toilet, that’s okay. I’m allowed to give myself some space.

When I’m so flustered from lack of sleep, trying to work from home, and having a nagging teenager, toddler and baby all wanting my attention at once, that I fall into a heap and have a good old cry, that’s okay. I’m human.

Obviously, these examples are based upon my personal situation, and are relating to parenting, however, this same concept can be adapted to any situation where you wish to take back your power and stop comparing or questioning your life choices. After all, who is in charge of your life? Is it society? Friends and family around you? Or you?

I promise to stop comparing myself to others. 

Do you?

   

 

Ten things to remind yourself today 

We all need a little reminder sometimes, and here are just a few things that you might like to reflect upon or remind yourself today.  1. You are doing your best with what you’ve got to work with at this moment in time, and that’s okay.

2. You can’t please everyone, and not everyone needs to like you. As long as you’re living your life truthfully, that’s all that matters.

3.  It’s vital that you take time for yourself and to do things you love, and to not feel guilty about it. 

4. The challenges you’re going through are for a reason, and are ultimately going to make you stronger and wiser.

5. Love yourself first. If you can genuinely do that, the rest will come easily.

6. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t try and squeeze everything into one day/week/year. There’s plenty of time, and it’s important to appreciate the journey.

7. Make time for rest. Put something off for a little longer if needed so you can recharge. 

8. Don’t own other people’s feelings or problems. Be compassionate, yes, but they are theirs to own, not yours. You have enough on your plate without other people’s stuff adding to it.

9. Breathe. Exhale all your worries, frustration, and anger… Allow any negative emotions to be releasd with each breath out. As you breathe in, allow nothing but love, joy, and positivity to flow through your body.

10. View everyone and everything from a place of love. Even the ordinarily most frustrating of people or situations can be dissolved by simply looking at it differently. Try it. 

I’d love to hear your feedback on any or all of these that you decide to try.