Category Archives: mum

Remove your blocks by being REAL: 10 questions to ask yourself

We all know that frustrating feeling of being blocked; of being in a place where you feel stuck, lost or confused about where you’re at on your journey. There’s that niggling feeling that something needs to change,but you don’t quite know what it is yet. Or, perhaps you already know what needs to change, but you’re too scared to take action. Time and time again, you come across road blocks that stop you from making any progress, even when you think you’re doing everything in your power to try and move forward.

The key to removing these blocks?

Being real.

The definition of real, according to the dictionary is: not imitation or artificial; genuine.
Now, can you honestly say that right now, you are being 100% real? If you’re feeling blocked at all – in any area of your life – then it’s very likely that you’re not (even if you think you are). Let’s explore this a little further, while I give you examples of how you can be real, and in the process, remove those nasty blocks!
1. Who are you, really?
Ask yourself this question and be brutally honest. Try not to use labels or words that describe what you do, because you are so much more than that. You may be a parent or a teacher, follow a certain religion or be part of a sporting team, but once again, you are more than that, too. This question needs to be answered on a soul level. Who are you, in all your entirety?
2. What are you passionate about?
What gives you that warm, fuzzy, excited feeling inside? What could you talk about for hours on end? Is there something that you just want to know more and more about? Are you actively doing something about this passion, or do you see it as just a dream?
3. What are you not saying?
What are the things that you’re not speaking up about? Are you bottling up unexpressed feelings or not talking about your true beliefs out of fear of judgment? Is there something that you know deep down needs to be said? Ask yourself why you aren’t speaking your truth.
4. Are all of your relationships (family included) healthy and do you have clear boundaries in place? Do you let others treat you poorly or do they have unrealistic expectations of you? Are there people in your life with whom you walk on eggshells just to keep the peace?
Do you feel comfortable being yourself around these people? It may be time to reconsider who is on this journey with you, and whether or not they have a role in your life that serves your highest good. It’s okay to remove toxic people from your life. Yes, even family. In cases where you simply must maintain contact with family members, you can still cut the energetic cords between you.
5. Are you happy with your job?
Your job, career, study plans, day to day routine… whatever you want to call it based on your own situation, you always have a choice. If you’re unhappy getting up every morning because you don’t genuinely look forward to your day each day, then something’s got to change. Again, it may be an expectation of others that you ‘keep at it’, but does that fulfil your needs, or theirs?

6. What are you afraid of?
I’m not going to give you the whole, “fear is just a thought” lecture, because everyone knows that already, and if you’re genuinely feeling fearful, then compassion is what is needed. I will let you know however, that whatever your fears are, you can and will overcome them, if you make the conscious decision to do so. There is always support out there and people willing to help you to face this fear, so when you’re ready, ask for help- it’s one of the most courageous things you can do. And, for those of you whose fear is the unknown, please know this. The unknown is where the real magic happens. True story.
7. What or who do you need to let go of? 
The possible answers to this question are endless – relationships (of any kind), patterns of behaviour, pain from the past, guilt, regret, unhealthy thoughts and environments… you get my drift. It simply must be done if you want to live authentically. The key to letting go however, is not just saying, “ok I let go of this, this and that”. You have to be brutally honest with yourself and truly, wholeheartedly, Let. It. The. Fuck. Go. Letting go means that it is gone; never to return, never to be dwelled over or engaged in again. If you’re not ready to confront something, then you’re not ready to release it.

8. Do you love yourself? I mean really, truly love very aspect of yourself? When you look in the mirror, do you stand there proudly, knowing you are your whole, beautiful damn self? When you talk about yourself to others, or to yourself, are you positive and speak about yourself with love? Do you hold your head high and face the world with eyes wide open? Do you truly believe that you are deserving of love, respect, and greatness? Do you recognise how powerful you are and allow yourself to use it?
9. What do you feel is missing from your life?
I’m not talking about a new car, a massive house, or some piece of jewellery here. I’m talking about asking yourself what you feel is missing on a soul level. What do you yearn for? What keeps drawing you in? That ache in your heart, the missing puzzle piece- what is it? And why aren’t you doing everything in your power to go after it?
10. Are you ready to embrace change? What are you willing to do about all of the above? Being your real, unfiltered self takes courage, because not everyone is going to like being confronted with such a powerful, authentic being (it’s their problem, not yours, by the way, and they’re probably wishing they could be as brave as you).
If you want to remove your blocks, start with these questions. I guarantee you, that if you’re courageous enough (which I know you are) to address even one of these questions, you’ll begin to notice those  heavy, confusing blocks lifting away, as if by magic.
You’ve got this. All you need to do, is be who you really are.
Christie is a Lightworker, publisher, and writer, and is the founder and director of White Light Universal. 

Christie prides herself on being authentic and seeing the light and love in everyone she meets, and this shines through in both the healing and guidance she provides for her clients, as well as helping writers’ and artists’ publishing dreams come true. 

Her passions are writing, mental health, children’s rights, and playing a part in healing humanity.

Check out her website

The Empath Mum

As anyone who’s an Empath knows, it’s not always easy. Nor is being a parent; but when you combine the two, it can be mayhem! Of course, being both a Mum and an Empath has its rewards too. 

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the term Empath, here is a brief description (you may just find yourself reading this and having an ‘aha’ moment).

An Empath is someone who feels and takes on the emotions and energy of other people, situations and environments. This is not just empathy, but fully feeling these emotions and energy as if they were your very own. Empaths also have a ‘knowing’ that goes beyond gut feelings or intuition.  

So, you can probably imagine that in addition to the everyday challenges that being a parent entails, adding this gift to the mix certainly makes for an interesting experience day in, day out. 

Don’t get me wrong; being an Empath as a mother gives me some wonderful advantages. Having this ‘knowing’ means that I’m able to relate to my children on such a unique level, and the majority of the time, I needn’t even ask what’s wrong because I just ‘know’. Even if there’s not necessarily anything amiss with one of my children, I still know exactly what they need at any given time; whether it means they’re getting sick or just need to snuggle for a while. 

For example, my two year old who isn’t quite verbal as yet, can simply look at me and most of the time, I know exactly what he needs or wants without trying to figure it out by questioning him. Sometimes, I’m even onto it before he is! 

The difficult side to this gift is being able to feel my children’s emotions as my own  when it becomes overwhelming for me. As everyone does, we all have challenges in life to deal with, and emotions of our own to understand and process, but when you add three more little people’s emotions to this, it can become quite daunting and make you feel like you’re carrying around the weight of the world. For example, if my teenager is feeling all hormonal and confused about his world, I feel it too. If my baby girl feels genuinely heartbroken because Dad just left to go to work, I feel it too. You get the gist…  

At times, I’ve felt like just curling up in a ball and crying, and that’s okay, because it is a very overwhelming gift to have. But at the same time, I am extremely blessed to be able to share this wonderfully deep connection with my children. Once I was aware of what it means to be an Empath, and learnt more about it, things started to become much easier, and I now see this gift in a whole new light. 

There are likely many, many parents out there who can completely relate to what I’m describing, and I want you to know that you’re not alone; and you’re certainly not crazy (even though at times, it may feel that way)! Being an Empath can be challenging and painful at the best of times, but when you’re a parent as well, and don’t know how to manage this gift, your heart and mind can get quite messy indeed. 

But, once you have the awareness, and the tools to properly manage everything that being an Empath entails, you will quickly realise just how very special a gift it is, and why you’ve been blessed with it. It’s not always easy, but the rewards that come with this gift far outweigh the challenges. 

I am more than happy to connect with anyone who would like to chat about this further, or who would simply like to share their experiences of being an Empath parent. I can be contacted through either of my Facebook pages here:

White Light for the Soul
White Light Publishing House

My family are my teachers 

My family are my teachers. 

After almost two weeks away from my husband and children, I am itching to get back to them and give them all a great big hug, and while I knew I would miss them like crazy, this time away has allowed me to really delve into my inner self, and put everything in my life into perspective.

All those little things; like being woken during the night because my daughter just wants to feel me close to her, or my eldest son talking my ear off when I’m trying to work, and even my husband having the TV so loud at night, he could very well wake up the neighbours three doors down… These are the things I miss the most; the small things, things that I have often taken for granted in the past. 

I am extremely grateful for having had the opportunity to go on this incredible trip with my Mum, and I will surely miss being able to sleep all night uninterrupted, and being able to just sit and read or have a shower in peace, but while it’s been a wonderful opportunity for me to recharge and have some ‘me time’, it has also reminded me just how much I love my life; in particular as a wife and mother. 

 I am so very blessed to have such a supportive husband, who has grown so much in the last twelve months, that I couldn’t be prouder of him if I tried. We have had our fair share of challenges over the years, and now, we have genuinely fallen in love with one another all over again. Our relationship has reached a whole new level recently, and I don’t know what I’d do without him. My husband is my best friend, and he has taught me the importance of patience and allowing life to flow naturally.

My children are so very different from one another, and yet, all share the same beautiful, deep emotional connection with me that I love so much. My (almost) teenage son is able to talk openly about his feelings, and has such a wonderfully kind heart, which I am so proud of him for. Even though he is my son, he is often my rock. He keeps me grounded, and reminds me to honour my feelings

My toddler has already overcome some amazing feats since being born, and he is just so full of energy and raw emotion most of the time, that he just amazes me. He is my little warrior, and reminds me that I can overcome anything with courage and determination. 

And my daughter; while she is not even yet a year old, is so full of pure love and joy, that she brings a smile to all of our faces, no matter what is going on. She is a mirror image of myself as a baby, and she reminds me to nurture my own inner child.

So, from now on, I am making a promise to myself, and to my family. I promise to embrace every single little moment, because every minute of every day, every challenge, every joyful moment, makes us who we are as a family, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Goodbye for now, Nepal

I knew that visiting this amazing country was going to be a trip of a lifetime, but I never really imagined that I would learn as much as I did; about the Nepali culture, about religion, about humanity, but most of all, I realised that my spiritual growth is still expanding day by day. I’ve mentioned in a previous blog post about just how genuine and kind the people of Nepal are, and this is something that will remain ingrained in my memory and heart forever. But it’s not just the people; its the natural wonders of Nepal, and the powerful energy that is felt here. I have never experienced anything like it, and I hope to hold onto that feeling for a very long time; long after I’ve returned home. If I could bottle the energy of being here, I would, so I could share it with everyone I know.    

 Our last few days in Nepal were spent with magnificent views of the Himalayas (both from our hotel balcony, and from the air), taking in sunrises and sunsets, and sharing stories with locals. We visited a few more Buddhist temples (including the World Peace Pagoda and Swayambhunath), and I must say that the Buddhist philosophy strongly resonates with my own values and beliefs. It is something that I intend on delving deeper into once I get home. 

 
It was sad to say goodbye to Nepal, but I know that I am forever changed from the experience that the Nepali people have given me. See you again one day!
Namaste

 

Why honesty is empowering 

I’ve realised something the last few days, and that is just how very empowering honesty is. 

Being honest with others, and most importantly, being honest with yourself

After posting my blog about my trip, and why Mum’s shouldn’t feel guilty about looking after themselves every once in a while, I received this message:

Honestly, you are amazing! I missed your first blog about your holiday and have only recently read it.

I cried whilst reading as I realised I’m one of this judgmental mums, I have always thought negatively about mums leaving their children to relax and have holidays. I have no problem with men doing it but always had issues with mums doing it.

I labelled them as selfish, uncaring and the list goes on.

UNTIL I read your blog.

I am embarrassed to say that these are my own issues and I am purely just jealous and envious and wish that I could do what you are doing.

You are doing such a selfless thing, by giving yourself the gift to recharge and heal you will be a better mum to your children than I am to mine purely because I am exhausted, cranky and unhappy most of the day.

So thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.

I will live this adventure through you until the day comes that I have worked through my own issues and take off on my own xox

This message was so inspiring to me, and I loved just how raw and honest it was. This Mum has not only been honest with me about my post, but she was also brutally honest with herself. This is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself, it truly is. 

So thank you to this amazing Mumma for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. You probably don’t even realise just how strong and powerful you are as a woman (not just a Mum), but I believe the message you sent me may just be the beginning of a beautiful journey within, and I am so honoured to have been able to ignite a spark in you without even intending to. 

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” 

– Brene Brown

  

The journey begins…

Off we go! Today, my beautiful Mum and I set off for our two week “Peaceful Pilgrimage” and I couldn’t be more excited if I tried! 

We are flying business class for the first leg of our journey; something I’ve never experienced, so right from the get-go it’s looking like we will be in relax mode. I’ve got my colouring book and pencils, and a heap of ebooks loaded on my iPad, but I dare say I might end up having a bit of a snooze at some point! 

So, first stop for us is Bangkok. We are staying there one night, then board our flight to Kathmandu, Nepal tomorrow morning. I’ll do my best to try and post from Bangkok tonight. 

Off we go!!  

For anyone who missed my first post about this trip, see here:

https://soulsistachristie.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/im-a-mum-does-that-mean-i-cant-have-a-holiday/

I’m a Mum. Does that mean I can’t have a holiday?

In a couple of days time, I am leaving for an overseas holiday with my Mum and I’ll be gone for two weeks. Nothing out of the ordinary really, except that I have three children, and they’re not coming with me.

I saw a post on social media recently where another Mum was in a similar situation, and I felt for her, I really did, because some of the comments she received were horrible. She was called selfish, a bad parent, and irresponsible, just to name a few. There were only a small handful of people (including myself) who actually supported her choice to go on a kid-free holiday, and I found that very sad indeed. Why people find it necessary to be so damn judgemental is beyond me. This poor woman was doing something very similar to me, and her children were of course, going to be in safe hands with their father while she was away. Yet still, in their eyes, going on a holiday without your children was a massive no-no.

I must admit, I still have a lingering feeling of guilt about my upcoming trip; after all, I am going to miss my children terribly, which is natural of course. BUT,  I’ve realised that the guilt I’ve been feeling is not so much coming from within, but externally, from people like those commenting on that woman’s post, who have this preconceived idea that it’s wrong for a mother to have a holiday without her children.

So, to those people who think that this is somehow ‘wrong’, I ask you the following:

If it were Dad taking this holiday, would this be viewed differently? (Mind you, in my case, Dad is taking his own holiday later this year)

If it was a business trip I was going on, would that make a difference? 

Do I not work hard enough, live each day on hardly no sleep, give my heart and soul 24 hours a day enough to deserve a break? 

I noticed one comment on that particular post where someone had said, “You’re a Mum. That’s your job. You don’t get to do things like that when you’re a parent.”

Well, I disagree. Yes, I am a Mum, and it’s the best job in the world. I love my children unconditionally. But I am also human too, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with honouring myself as a person as well as being a Mum. Being a Mum is not the only thing that defines me as a person; I am many other things as well. 

So, I am going on this once in a lifetime trip, and I am going to do so with no guilt, because there is nothing for me to be guilty about. I am going to relax, explore the culture of the places I’m visiting, and be grateful for this amazing opportunity. I am going to enjoy a much needed break, and quality time with my Mum. I am going to share my experiences with as many people as possible, without feeling as though I should somehow be ashamed of what I’m doing, because that’s what people do when they go on holiday. 

As for my children, they are going to spend some quality time with their Dad, and are of course, in great hands. I’m sure they will miss me just as much as I’ll miss them, but you know what? I am going to come back home in just two short weeks, getting right back into the swing of things, but there’ll be one difference. I’ll be relaxed and re-energised, ready to keep being the super awesome Mum and wife that I already know I am.