The Nepali people have life all figured out

I have had some wonderful discussions with many local people here in Nepal, and each and every one I speak with, has me nodding my head, and saying, “Yes!”

The Nepali people have life all figured out. 

Even after the devastation that they have experienced less than a year ago, with the massive earthquake that has left so many people homeless, and having lost loved ones, they are nothing but happy, kindhearted, and genuinely grateful for everything they have.  

 

The streets and traffic are insane, with not a road rule seeming to be in existence, yet we have not seen one person get angry, impatient, or frustrated. Drivers remain calm, and are so patient with one another, that there doesn’t ever seem to be an issue. We spoke with one of the taxi drivers about this, and he explained that while people may be in a rush to get from here to there, so is everyone else, and there’s no point in getting angry at each other. From what we have seen on the roads, the Nepali people just want to get on with their day, but also make sure they are looking out for one another. 

The earthquakes in April and May have brought the Nepali people together in so many ways, and through so much sadness and loss, they’ve managed to pull together to help one another rebuild homes, and lend each other a helping hand in any way they can; whether it means financially supporting one another, providing food and blankets, or just being there for each other. From what I have seen and heard from the many stories told by locals, the people of Nepal were already a very kind and supportive people, but now, more than ever, the devastation they experienced as a nation, has just amplified their beautiful nature, and they seem to truly understand the meaning of humanity as a whole. 

I truly believe that every person could learn a thing or two from the beautiful people of Nepal. Many of us seem to forget and take for granted some of the small things in life that may seem minor to us, but are extremely important here. Things like acknowledging one another in the street, not judging another based on appearance, culture, beliefs or life choices. Things like having enough food every day, having clean drinking water, or access to petrol to get around. Having somewhere to sleep at night, or clothes to wear. Having someone you can talk to when you need support. Having your loved ones alive and healthy. Children having access to education, or at the very least, someone to care for them. 

Every single person I have met here; whether it be in conversation, or just a hello along the street, has been friendly, has a smile for me and a heartfelt “Namaste”, which is not only spoken, but is a genuine energy exchanged between two people. When I hand someone extra rupees because I feel as though they deserve more than what they’ve asked for selling me something, or for their wonderful service, they are genuinely grateful and it shows in their eyes. When I tell someone there’s no need to be ‘sorry’ or to treat me any differently because they somehow feel that I expect them to cater to my every need because I’m a tourist, they breathe a sigh of relief, and I can feel a knowing between us. A knowing that we understand one another as fellow human beings who are equal. 

Our tour guide Yagya, said something beautiful the first day we met him; “I am not perfect. Life is about learning. Some things I know more than you, some things you know more than me. We are here to learn from each other.” That, we are. If we could only all begin by adopting the simple, yet powerful practice of the Nepali people in sharing a genuine “Namaste” to one another, the world may be a different place. 

Namaste: “I honour the place in you where the universe resides. When I am in that place in me, and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us.”

The word, “Namaste” contains a word “Nama” which means “negating or reducing one’s ego in the presence of another”. Meaning, when people greet each other with “Namaste” they accept their existence.

When two people greet each other by joining their ten fingers, a vibe is produced, and when a person closes his/her eyes, and bow their head before another person, an energy is developed from heart – to – head. And finally, exerted through his/her head. This energy links one person to another, and every time it is done, an honour is developed; respect is created. 

Namaste can elevate one’s consciousness, reminding us that all beings, all existence, is sacred. It also tends to draw an individual inward for a moment; inspiring reflection on deeper realities, and softens the interface between two people.  

 If we could reach a time and place where we all genuinely practice ‘Namaste’ to our fellow human beings, we could very well be much closer to achieving peace in the world. 

The Nepali people have life all figured out. 

A day in Pokhara (with a trip to the hospital too!)

26 February 
We woke up this morning to the sound of the Buddhist monks drumming at the Peace Pagoda, and it was such a beautiful way to wake up! Outside our window I could see the still, almost glass like water of Phewa Lake, and the light of the sun slowly rising from behind the mountains. 

 After breakfast, the first place we visited was Devi’s Fall. Just a short stroll off the Main Street, Devi’s Fall is named after a woman who was swept away by the water and died while bathing in it. We threw some coins into the Wishing Pool, and then walked across the road to Gupteshwor Madahev Cave.  

As we made our way down the stairs to the cave entrance (yes, lots of stairs like everywhere else), we saw a young woman who was making her way down also, but was being held on either side by loved ones. She looked to be quite fearful and upset about something (whether she was scared of going into the dark, or something else, I’m not sure. I dare say it was due to much more than a fear of the dark) but her legs were weak, she was crying and moaning, and was clearly distressed about something. Most of the way down was dark and wet, and I really felt for this woman as she got closer to the temple that stood deep inside the cave. We were prohibited from taking photos, as this temple was so very sacred.  

 Once we made it to the temple, this young woman threw herself to her knees and began chanting and throwing rice upon herself and ringing the bells that surround it. This temple was in a cage-like structure and the guard that stood nearby opened it for her. She went inside and continued to moan and cry as she crawled around around the small temple. We wanted to give her privacy, but before we moved along, I found a piece of rose quartz I’d had in my bag, and asked the guard to please give it to her from me. I placed my hand on my heart and said, “it’s for love”. I don’t know whether he ended up passing it along to her; I hope he did, but I said a little prayer for her anyway as we continued along.

A few more levels of climbing down rocks and we were there inside the main part of Gupteshwor Madahev Cave. I could just feel how very sacred a place this was, and stood for a moment, watching the waterfall crash against the rocks in this dark, yet powerful cave. I tried to take many photos, but the lack of light inside meant that each photo was unclear or blurry (I did seem to capture a couple of orbs though).

After we climbed back up, we visited the Mountain Museum. In here there was an abundance of information, which Yagya helped us to understand. He seemed completely in his element as he gave us information about the mountains, the people and cultures, and many other things. We had originally taken the museum off our list of things to see, but Yagya encouraged us to see it, and I’m glad we did.  

 My hand was now getting a bit sore and swollen from last night’s fall, and we had already decided it would be best to have it checked out, so we made our way to the Namaste Hospital in Pokhara. Immediately upon entering I was seen by triage, and the whole thing was such a surreal experience. It felt like something out of an old movie, because everything was so laid back. The nurses gave me a shot of something in my bottom (a painkiller) and a tetanus injection (even though I’m up to date- better safe than sorry). The doctor who came around with his little girl in tow wanted blood tests and an X-ray done, and so I can waited for the results of those to come through. When the doctor mentioned that if the infection in my hand was too serious, I would need to be admitted, I prayed that this wouldn’t be the case. Visiting the emergency department for a couple of hours, and being admitted to s hospital in a foreign country with regular power outages, are two completely different scenarios. Luckily, the X-ray came back ok, and my blood count; while a little high which meant my hand was infected, I wouldn’t need to be admitted. I was told to be very careful, and was given a script for some strong antibiotics, and we were done. I was considering calling my travel insurance company, but when I saw how much the bill was (for services, medications, injections, X-rays), it was only a total of around 7000NRP (which is around $85AUD). My excess would have cost me more than the total bill, so I let it be. 

 By the time we got out of the hospital, it was after 2pm, and we were all very hungry. The taxi driver dropped us off out try front of a restaurant called Boomerang, and so we thought, what better place to eat than here? This restaurant was right on the edge of the lake, and it was very peaceful to sit and watch the boats and paragliders. After a delicious meal we took a paddleboat over to Bahari Temple, which is on an island on Phewa Lake. The sun was setting while we were there, so it was just gorgeous.  

 We got back to our room around 7pm and after a very quick bite to eat, we just needed to sit, so we spent a little time on our balcony, then headed to bed early, ready for a big drive ahead tomorrow to Nagarkot.

Road trip to Pokhara

25 February 

Today we set off on our road trip to Pokhara. We met with our guide Yagya and driver Manu, and he gave us a brief history on Nepal. Our first stop was a quaint little place on the side of the highway balled Hamlet Restaurant, which was in Dhading; 54km out of Kathmandu. It wasn’t long before we began discussing the earthquakes from last year (April 25th and May 12th 2015). 10,000 people lost their lives, at least 200,000 are now homeless and 500,000 homes were lost, including our guide’s home. He showed us a photo of what used to be his home. The house was built by his grandfather just after the 1934 earthquake, and so it had been in his family for over eighty years. He hasn’t started rebuilding yet as he is waiting on the financial support that the government has promised (even though it’s not nearly enough, in my opinion). So, he now lives in Bhaktapur with his parents and his children. He has three children, with his eldest daughter who is fourteen years old having cerebral palsy. Yagya began to get very emotional, so we told him if it’s too much for him to talk about we won’t be offended if he asks us to stop. 

 Off we went again, and our next stop was Manakamana Temple. Manakamana means ‘wish fulfiller’ and is a Hindu goddess. We took a cable car up to the temple, which was extremely steep and had some incredible views of the Tishula River and surrounds. The first thing I noticed once we hopped off the cable car was the brilliant sight of colours everywhere! Little stalls were scattered everywhere with selections of ‘offerings’ that you could buy to place at the temple to be blessed. We had a selection of coconut, flowers, sweets, rice and red powdered turmeric. Once our offerings were blessed, Yagya showed us how to place the tikka on our forehead (mixture of turmeric and rice) and wrap the coloured band around our necks, and we sat down and shared the offerings (coconut and sweets). While the practices of the Hindu religion are fascinating, there is one aspect that I do not agree with, and upsets me, and that is the sacrificing of animals. We saw lots of goats and bulls tied up, ready to be sacrificed, and it just made me so sad.     We weren’t able to go right up to the temple, because there were just so many people there waiting in line, and we weren’t able to wait there all day. So, we sat down for some lunch and let Yagya order a traditional Nepali meal for us, of rice, spinach, lentil soup, a pappadum type thing, and yoghurt. It was delicious and so filling. And it was so cheap! Only around $9 AUD for all three of us (including drinks)!  

   Our next stop was a lovely old traditional Newari village called Bandipur. Bandipur is set high up in a hilltop (approximately 1000 metres high) and as soon as we got out of the car, we were greeted by a group of young boys who had just finished school. They were so cheeky, and were asking us for chocolate, and as soon as we got our cameras out, they were posing. So precious.   
  As were walking along, an elderly man asked us where we are from. As soon as we responded “Australia”, his eyes lit up and he walked with us. He told us how his son had gone to Australia fifteen years ago, at the age of 17, and that he was missing. He hadn’t heard from his son for eleven years. “I’m much sorrow”, he said, “his mother wants to die, she’s so sad”. I suggested that we take his son’s details, and maybe we could share information on Facebook or do whatever we could to help, and his whole demeanour changed. It was if we had just given him a glimmer of hope for the first time in a very long time. With the help of our guide translating, we explained that we couldn’t promise anything but that we would do what we could to share his information, and maybe, just maybe, someone may know something. After we took down all the details, I asked if I could give him a hug. Both Mum and I each gave him a hug, and he began to cry. It was the most heartbreaking moment, yet he was smiling through his tears, and if all we managed to do today was give an old man an ounce of hope, then that makes me very happy indeed.  

 We left Bandipur with lots to process emotionally, and made our way to our final destination for the next two nights- Pokhara. The accommodation we had booked was way up the top of a hill; but not just any hill; the same hill where the World Peace Pagoda stands (Shanti Stupa). Our hotel – Peace Dragon Hotel- is only a four minute walk from the Peace Pagoda, so you can just imagine the energy that is here. Not only that, but we have a panoramic view of the Himalayan Ranges and Phewa Lake. Once we climbed the million and one steps (a slight exaggeration) to our accommodation, we sat for a cold drink and let the beauty of our surroundings soak in for a moment. Simply magnificent. 

 We were greeted by the owner Juliette, who is a lovely English woman, and she told us all about the area and what to expect during our stay. We already knew that our stay here was going to be special. After we put our things in our room (which mind you, has a floor to ceiling window and balcony overlooking the lake), we headed downstairs to have some dinner. Now, for anyone who doesn’t know, Nepal has power outages for hours at a time every day and night, and at this particular time, the power was out, so all we had for light at our outdoor table in the main courtyard was a candle. I sat down for a few minutes, then decided to get up to try and take a photo of the view. Silly me, stepped backwards, forgetting that there was a small set of stairs just behind me, and I fell. Not only did I fall awkwardly (as I always do), but I somehow managed to grab onto a cactus plant on my way down (with quite large needles in it). At the time, I though I’d just broken a normal pot plant. 

I got up and sat at the table and was complaining to Mum about my foot being sore, then I looked down at my hand. I freaked out, because I could see a heap of very sharp, long objects protruding out of the back of my hand, and in the dark, they looked to me like pieces of rusted wire. I started to feel all clammy and faint, and so we rushed inside for help. I had to compose myself because I felt like I was going to pass out (again, typical me), and everyone was trying to help, but I didn’t want them to touch my hand yet because it was making me feel sick. After a few minutes, I was ok, and then our beautiful guide pulled out the needles for me; some of which he needed to dig in to get with a makeshift sterilised needle. It hurt like hell, but I just kept thinking, “I’ve had three babies without drugs, this is nothing”. It helped, anyway.   

  Afterward, we all sat down to finally have a meal, and we had a nice chat amongst each other for hours; about religion, our experiences, and life in general. Aside from the little mishap, it was an incredible day, and a lovely night spent with amazing people. 

For information about the man from Bandipur and his missing son, please find information below: 

Father’s name: Ramchandra Devkota

Son’s name: Rupchandra Devkota

From Chitwan, Nepal

Rupchandra went to Sydney, Australia in approximately 2000-2001, and was 17 years old at the time. He would currently be around 32 years old. He hasn’t made contact with his family for 11 years
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/nepal/kathmandu-to-pokhara/bandipur/introduction

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shanti_Stupa,_Pokhara

Visit with the children

24th February

This morning we began our day by having another lovely (large) breakfast at the Penguin Boutique Hotel. We said goodbye to the very kind staff and made our way to our new hotel, Kantipur Temple House. What a beautifully designed hotel it is! It feels like we are in another world, and as I write this, I am sitting out in the courtyard surrounded by beautiful wooden carvings and a luscious garden. I could stay here for a long time, but tomorrow, we head off to Pokhara, and we will be back here in four days time. 

After we settled into our new room, we went for a wander around Thamel, and of course, did some more shopping. We were stopped by a lovely man who asked if we were from Australia, and usually, I would have said yes briefly then walked on, however for some reason I stopped to have a chat. He introduced himself as “Um” (pronounced Om), and that just made me feel as though it was even more significant a meeting. We ended up going inside to sit down and talk more inside his shop, and had a lengthy discussion about life, spirituality, and what it means to be on this path we call life. He was not at all surprised to find out the work that I do, as he said he felt the energy from my heart as we were walking down the street, and that’s why he felt drawn to talk to me. Once again, I had met someone who held the same values as my own, and we could have talked for hours, and he taught me a Nepali term that sums up my feelings: “Shanti Shanti”, which means ‘peace peace’. We exchanged Facebook details and off we went up the street to the Garden of Dreams.  

The Garden of Dreams is situated on a very busy intersection in Thamel, and you wouldn’t imagine there being such a beautiful, peaceful place just inside the walls that surrounded it. Upon entering, I felt immediately relaxed, and the luscious gardens and sights of people laying on the grass reading books, or spending time with loved ones, was very welcoming.  

 We were then met by Rabi, who is the beautiful man who runs the Big Umbrella House in Kathmandu. He takes in children who are on the street (for various reasons- domestic violence, alcoholic parents etc) and he took us to the house where they’re living. The children were just arriving home from school, and they were so excited to meet us; one little boy grabbing my hand to take me on a tour of the house. After we had a look around, all of the children sat down to do their homework. It warmed my heart to see just how eager the children were to do their homework; some were drawing, some writing, and some reading. Their English was extremely good and we told them so (which of course, they were very proud of)!  

 These children are just so appreciative of small things; for example, I took out a scrapbook and started to draw, and they were all so excited to receive one sheet of paper each to draw on. “Look, Ma’m”, they were saying over and over again. It was lovely, and no matter how many times we said it was ok to call us by our first names, they still used the term ‘Ma’m’.

In a group of thirteen boys, there is also one girl staying there, and what a fiery, excitable little lady she was! She had found a bunch of rubber bands tied together and was bouncing the rubber bands on a book up and down, so I grabbed a book as well and asked her to throw it to me. We ended up playing makeshift ‘tennis’ with two books and a bunch of rubber bands for ages. One of the older boys wanted a turn and so we took it in turns to see how many times we could bounce the ‘ball’ on the book before dropping it. Such simple games, but at the same time, so very beneficial, and it reminded me of working in childcare again.  

 Just before we were due to go home, we gave the children a notebook each, some new pencils and pens, some drawing paper, and other items that Mum had brought over for them. There was also a book on Australia and Victoria, and they were fascinated by the different things they were seeing in these books. It was especially amusing to hear them try to pronounce ‘Uluru’. I wrote a little message in a couple of the children’s books, and it made me so happy to see them copying out and reading the words that I had written amongst one another. I do hope that these words stay with them for a long time. 

I wrote: “Always be yourself” 

Spiritual Nepal: Part Two

Today would have to have been one of the most enlightening experiences of my life. 

We met with our guide and driver in the morning, and they told us the meanings of their names: Dawa, which means
Moon, and Nima, which means Sun. We should have known from that moment, that today was going to be a special day.   We made our way to Kopan Monastery and as we drove up the winding roads towards it, I could already feel the calm and peaceful energy that surrounded us, and as we arrived at the gates, we could hear the most amazing sound of the monks and nuns chanting their mantras. 

 We were visiting the monastery on a very significant day in the Tibetan calendar; ‘Marme Monlam’ and many monks and nuns had travelled from afar to be there. We certainly felt blessed to be allowed to visit on such an important occasion. 

We wandered around the monastery, in awe of the beauty that surrounded us, and took lots of photos of the magnificent views. It wasn’t long after we got there, that the young boys (students) came outside for lunch and it was so refreshing to watch them just being boys! Some were rolling down the grassy hills, some were playing on their iPhones (yes iPhones), and it was very cute to see a few older boys getting all embarrassed around a young female tourist. Two of the boys pushed the other one forward, as if to say “you talk to her!” Another sight that made me laugh was seeing some of the older boys smashing back cans of Red Bull like they were going out of fashion! All of the boys just seemed so happy and relaxed. They were polite and respectful, but also at the same time, typical boys! 

   
While the boys were on their break and everyone was roaming around the monastery, we were blessed to sit down and meet with one of the senior monks, Lop Sang. We chatted with him for quite a while, had lunch together, and discussed many, many things about Buddhism, rebirth, reincarnation, our purpose in life, spirituality, and humanity as a whole. We also shared stories of our own lives, beliefs and values, and I can’t even find the words to describe the feelings that I had as I realised that we shared many of the same beliefs. Here we were, chatting away to such a man of significance, sharing laughs, nodding to each other while we agreed on topics, all the while feeling such a wave of love and understanding washing over me from just being in his presence. Enlightening is not even enough of a word to describe it! I will share another post later on about our discussion, as it is just too much to fit in here, but all I can say right now is WOW.

After over an hour of discussion, Lop Sang took us for a walk inside the monastery, and showed us everything, explaining meanings behind it all along the way. It was quite overwhelming being inside, and I think I will let the photos I took explain this, as my words could not do it justice. He pointed out the image of the Dalai Lama, and started to explain who he was, and we just giggled and said, “Yes, we know who he is”. We made a donation and walked outside as the boys were about to begin a ceremony. Before this began however, Lop Sang walked away for a moment, and came back to us with a parting gift. He gave us each a piece of fruit from one of the trees in the monastery which he said were blessed, and he draped a Khata around each of our necks. The Khata symbolises purity and compassion, and the pure heart of the giver. He thanked us and said he was presenting us with these as his way of expressing gratitude to us for helping others, and to encourage us to continue our good work. I will be forever grateful for this moment, and it will remain ingrained in my memory for life. 

    
 It was then time for the boys to perform the ‘Ritual Fire Offering’. They were dressed in headgear in the shape of a bird (although it kind of looked like ancient Roman headgear to me- I was corrected very quickly lol), and carried their offering for hundreds of metres down the road in a procession type manner. The purpose of the ritual was to please the deities who help them to gain accomplishments on their path. It also removes any negative energy, faults or obstacles. Again, this was incredible to watch.  

 On the way home, our guide even thanked us for booking the tour today as he felt very emotional and grateful for having met Lop Sang, and he couldn’t take the smile off his face (much like us). 

A day I will definitely never forget. 

(We did get a photo with Lop Sang, however it is on my digital camera, and so I will need to wait until I get home to share it)

More information about today:

http://www.kopanmonastery.com/about-kopan/monastic-education

http://www.gomang.org/2010_packetfiles/firepuja.pdf

Why honesty is empowering

I’ve realised something the last few days, and that is just how very empowering honesty is. 

Being honest with others, and most importantly, being honest with yourself. 

After posting my blog about my trip, and why Mum’s shouldn’t feel guilty about looking after themselves every once in a while, I received this message:

Honestly, you are amazing! I missed your first blog about your holiday and have only recently read it.

I cried whilst reading as I realised I’m one of this judgmental mums, I have always thought negatively about mums leaving their children to relax and have holidays. I have no problem with men doing it but always had issues with mums doing it.

I labelled them as selfish, uncaring and the list goes on.

UNTIL I read your blog.

I am embarrassed to say that these are my own issues and I am purely just jealous and envious and wish that I could do what you are doing.

You are doing such a selfless thing, by giving yourself the gift to recharge and heal you will be a better mum to your children than I am to mine purely because I am exhausted, cranky and unhappy most of the day.

So thank you for being so honest and sharing your story.

I will live this adventure through you until the day comes that I have worked through my own issues and take off on my own xox

This message was so inspiring to me, and I loved just how raw and honest it was. This Mum has not only been honest with me about my post, but she was also brutally honest with herself. This is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself, it truly is. 

So thank you to this amazing Mumma for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me. You probably don’t even realise just how strong and powerful you are as a woman (not just a Mum), but I believe the message you sent me may just be the beginning of a beautiful journey within, and I am so honoured to have been able to ignite a spark in you without even intending to. 

“Authenticity is a collection of choices that we have to make every day. It’s about the choice to show up and be real. The choice to be honest. The choice to let our true selves be seen.” 

– Brene Brown

  

The journey begins…

Off we go! Today, my beautiful Mum and I set off for our two week “Peaceful Pilgrimage” and I couldn’t be more excited if I tried! 

We are flying business class for the first leg of our journey; something I’ve never experienced, so right from the get-go it’s looking like we will be in relax mode. I’ve got my colouring book and pencils, and a heap of ebooks loaded on my iPad, but I dare say I might end up having a bit of a snooze at some point! 

So, first stop for us is Bangkok. We are staying there one night, then board our flight to Kathmandu, Nepal tomorrow morning. I’ll do my best to try and post from Bangkok tonight. 

Off we go!!  

For anyone who missed my first post about this trip, see here:

I’m a Mum. Does that mean I can’t have a holiday?

I’m a Mum. Does that mean I can’t have a holiday?

In a couple of days time, I am leaving for an overseas holiday with my Mum and I’ll be gone for two weeks. Nothing out of the ordinary really, except that I have three children, and they’re not coming with me.

I saw a post on social media recently where another Mum was in a similar situation, and I felt for her, I really did, because some of the comments she received were horrible. She was called selfish, a bad parent, and irresponsible, just to name a few. There were only a small handful of people (including myself) who actually supported her choice to go on a kid-free holiday, and I found that very sad indeed. Why people find it necessary to be so damn judgemental is beyond me. This poor woman was doing something very similar to me, and her children were of course, going to be in safe hands with their father while she was away. Yet still, in their eyes, going on a holiday without your children was a massive no-no.

I must admit, I still have a lingering feeling of guilt about my upcoming trip; after all, I am going to miss my children terribly, which is natural of course. BUT,  I’ve realised that the guilt I’ve been feeling is not so much coming from within, but externally, from people like those commenting on that woman’s post, who have this preconceived idea that it’s wrong for a mother to have a holiday without her children.

So, to those people who think that this is somehow ‘wrong’, I ask you the following:

If it were Dad taking this holiday, would this be viewed differently? (Mind you, in my case, Dad is taking his own holiday later this year)

If it was a business trip I was going on, would that make a difference? 

Do I not work hard enough, live each day on hardly no sleep, give my heart and soul 24 hours a day enough to deserve a break? 

I noticed one comment on that particular post where someone had said, “You’re a Mum. That’s your job. You don’t get to do things like that when you’re a parent.”

Well, I disagree. Yes, I am a Mum, and it’s the best job in the world. I love my children unconditionally. But I am also human too, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with honouring myself as a person as well as being a Mum. Being a Mum is not the only thing that defines me as a person; I am many other things as well. 

So, I am going on this once in a lifetime trip, and I am going to do so with no guilt, because there is nothing for me to be guilty about. I am going to relax, explore the culture of the places I’m visiting, and be grateful for this amazing opportunity. I am going to enjoy a much needed break, and quality time with my Mum. I am going to share my experiences with as many people as possible, without feeling as though I should somehow be ashamed of what I’m doing, because that’s what people do when they go on holiday. 

As for my children, they are going to spend some quality time with their Dad, and are of course, in great hands. I’m sure they will miss me just as much as I’ll miss them, but you know what? I am going to come back home in just two short weeks, getting right back into the swing of things, but there’ll be one difference. I’ll be relaxed and re-energised, ready to keep being the super awesome Mum and wife that I already know I am.

  

Journey to Nepal

In just ten days from now, my Mum and I will have commenced our two week holiday (which we have dubbed our ‘Peaceful Pilgrimage’) to Nepal. This is certainly going to be a trip of a lifetime, and one of spiritual growth and discovery.

With just some of the amazing experiences we have planned being a morning spent with a Buddhist Monk, a visit to the World Peace Pagoda, and mingling with locals in ancient settlements and villages, this trip is bound to be full of inspiration, stories, and incredible memories.

(Did I mention the natural wonders we will be seeing? The Himalayas… need I say more?)

I plan on keeping a blog while I am away, so I would love for anyone who is interested, to follow.

Namaste,

Christie

  

No Room for Comparison

Enough is enough. I’ve decided to make a promise to myself. A promise that I should have made long ago, and one that every person would benefit from making for themselves.

I promise to stop comparing myself to others.

It seems quite a simple commitment to make in such a small sentence; one that many people will know, that in reality, isn’t quite that easy. On the contrary, you may be reading this thinking, “Oh, I don’t do that anyway”, but let me ask you this: Can you honestly say that you never, ever judge yourself based on what others think of you (whether real or perceived), or that you don’t question your decisions with someone else’s beliefs or way of life at the back of your mind?

Perhaps you can, and if so, that’s wonderful. But for those of us that do need a little reminder, it’s time we took back our personal power and lived authentically!

When was the last time you stopped yourself mid-thought; wondering whether “X” would make the same decision? What would they do in the same situation? Should you do what they would do, or go with your own instinct? What would they think of your choices? Would you feel as though you’re being judged? Better still, what would society think of your the choices you make?

These are all questions that we need to stop asking ourselves when it comes to making life choices; whether it’s a big decision like changing careers, or an everyday choice such as whether you can afford to buy yourself that new book you’ve had your eye on.

Comparison comes in many forms. You may be comparing:

– Your career and the success you have in the workplace

– The way you look 

– Your relationships with others (family, marriage, friendships)

– The amount of money you earn 

– How you should ‘behave’ in certain situations 

…and the list could go on…

Now, let this sentence sink in for a moment:

Each time you compare yourself to another, you are taking away your own power.

Personally, I’m not too fussed with material things, such as having fashionable clothes, or the latest hairstyle. Comparing myself to someone based on what I have or don’t have, is not an issue for me (thankfully). For example, I couldn’t care less about owning a big fancy house; that’s not what’s important to me. I am however, happy for anyone who is able to have this for themselves, if that’s what brings them joy.

For me, at this point in my life, comparing my parenting choices to those of others (as well as what is ‘expected’ from society in general), is my greatest challenge, and one that I intend to put a stop to right now. The choices I make daily as a parent, is what I struggle with the most; even though in reality, I shouldn’t. The fact that I’ve been a parent now for almost thirteen years, have three children, and several years of early childhood education training and experience up my sleeve, still doesn’t seem to stop me from questioning my choices at times; simply because I am comparing myself to others, or wondering whether or not my decisions are ‘the best thing to do’ in societies’ eyes.

So, for anyone who finds themselves guilty of comparing themselves to others (in any form- not just parents), I ask you this:

Why do you allow yourself to do this? What makes you think that you are not capable or knowledgeable enough to make the best possible choices for yourself (or your children) without comparing yourself to others? Why do you even think that others would be judging you anyway, and if they are, why does it matter so much?

 

In my situation, there is quite a simple answer to this question. It’s because as a parent, I want the absolute best for my children; that’s a given. The choices I make however, should not be based on whether I think others would agree with me, or how other people might think or feel about my decision. I am the parent of my children, and ultimately, I know what’s best for them, based on how I want them to be raised.

If I co-sleep with my children because it helps me to get some sleep at night (and I sometimes like the snuggles myself), that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I take loved ones up on the offer to babysit my children for the night so my husband and I can go to the movies, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I enrol my children in daycare because I believe it is actually beneficial for their learning, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

And finally (this is a big one that I’ve been made to feel guilty about), if I want to go on a holiday and leave the kids at home with their Dad while I’m away, that’s my choice. I deserve a holiday and I own that choice.

It’s also important that I acknowledge the times where I don’t have the answers, or when I’m having a challenging time. 

When all I feel like doing is crawling up in bed and sleeping because the kids have kept me awake all night, that’s okay. I’m allowed to feel that way. 

When I sit my toddler in front of his favourite movie or give him the iPad to ‘keep him entertained’ so I can have a moment’s peace to fold the washing or heaven forbid, go to the toilet, that’s okay. I’m allowed to give myself some space.

When I’m so flustered from lack of sleep, trying to work from home, and having a nagging teenager, toddler and baby all wanting my attention at once, that I fall into a heap and have a good old cry, that’s okay. I’m human.

Obviously, these examples are based upon my personal situation, and are relating to parenting, however, this same concept can be adapted to any situation where you wish to take back your power and stop comparing or questioning your life choices. After all, who is in charge of your life? Is it society? Friends and family around you? Or you?

I promise to stop comparing myself to others. 

Do you?