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The Wheel

So here you are again

The wheel has fully turned

Now it’s time to make a choice

About what you have learned


Do you let it go another round

And repeat it all again?

Or have you finally reached a point 

Knowing it will never end?


The wheel will keep on turning

The past will still repeat

Until you make a conscious choice:

Is this it what you really need? 


It’s like you’re stuck in motion

Not knowing how to stop

Asking why nothing changes 

Or why you feel so blocked 


It doesn’t have to be this way

But something has to change 

Will you jump off the wheel

Or go around again?

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The Empath Mum

As anyone who’s an Empath knows, it’s not always easy. Nor is being a parent; but when you combine the two, it can be mayhem! Of course, being both a Mum and an Empath has its rewards too. 

For anyone who isn’t familiar with the term Empath, here is a brief description (you may just find yourself reading this and having an ‘aha’ moment).

An Empath is someone who feels and takes on the emotions and energy of other people, situations and environments. This is not just empathy, but fully feeling these emotions and energy as if they were your very own. Empaths also have a ‘knowing’ that goes beyond gut feelings or intuition.  

So, you can probably imagine that in addition to the everyday challenges that being a parent entails, adding this gift to the mix certainly makes for an interesting experience day in, day out. 

Don’t get me wrong; being an Empath as a mother gives me some wonderful advantages. Having this ‘knowing’ means that I’m able to relate to my children on such a unique level, and the majority of the time, I needn’t even ask what’s wrong because I just ‘know’. Even if there’s not necessarily anything amiss with one of my children, I still know exactly what they need at any given time; whether it means they’re getting sick or just need to snuggle for a while. 

For example, my two year old who isn’t quite verbal as yet, can simply look at me and most of the time, I know exactly what he needs or wants without trying to figure it out by questioning him. Sometimes, I’m even onto it before he is! 

The difficult side to this gift is being able to feel my children’s emotions as my own  when it becomes overwhelming for me. As everyone does, we all have challenges in life to deal with, and emotions of our own to understand and process, but when you add three more little people’s emotions to this, it can become quite daunting and make you feel like you’re carrying around the weight of the world. For example, if my teenager is feeling all hormonal and confused about his world, I feel it too. If my baby girl feels genuinely heartbroken because Dad just left to go to work, I feel it too. You get the gist…  

At times, I’ve felt like just curling up in a ball and crying, and that’s okay, because it is a very overwhelming gift to have. But at the same time, I am extremely blessed to be able to share this wonderfully deep connection with my children. Once I was aware of what it means to be an Empath, and learnt more about it, things started to become much easier, and I now see this gift in a whole new light. 

There are likely many, many parents out there who can completely relate to what I’m describing, and I want you to know that you’re not alone; and you’re certainly not crazy (even though at times, it may feel that way)! Being an Empath can be challenging and painful at the best of times, but when you’re a parent as well, and don’t know how to manage this gift, your heart and mind can get quite messy indeed. 

But, once you have the awareness, and the tools to properly manage everything that being an Empath entails, you will quickly realise just how very special a gift it is, and why you’ve been blessed with it. It’s not always easy, but the rewards that come with this gift far outweigh the challenges. 

I am more than happy to connect with anyone who would like to chat about this further, or who would simply like to share their experiences of being an Empath parent. I can be contacted through either of my Facebook pages here:

White Light for the Soul
White Light Publishing House

The journey begins…

Off we go! Today, my beautiful Mum and I set off for our two week “Peaceful Pilgrimage” and I couldn’t be more excited if I tried! 

We are flying business class for the first leg of our journey; something I’ve never experienced, so right from the get-go it’s looking like we will be in relax mode. I’ve got my colouring book and pencils, and a heap of ebooks loaded on my iPad, but I dare say I might end up having a bit of a snooze at some point! 

So, first stop for us is Bangkok. We are staying there one night, then board our flight to Kathmandu, Nepal tomorrow morning. I’ll do my best to try and post from Bangkok tonight. 

Off we go!!  

For anyone who missed my first post about this trip, see here:

https://soulsistachristie.wordpress.com/2016/02/18/im-a-mum-does-that-mean-i-cant-have-a-holiday/

Journey to Nepal

In just ten days from now, my Mum and I will have commenced our two week holiday (which we have dubbed our ‘Peaceful Pilgrimage’) to Nepal. This is certainly going to be a trip of a lifetime, and one of spiritual growth and discovery.

With just some of the amazing experiences we have planned being a morning spent with a Buddhist Monk, a visit to the World Peace Pagoda, and mingling with locals in ancient settlements and villages, this trip is bound to be full of inspiration, stories, and incredible memories.

(Did I mention the natural wonders we will be seeing? The Himalayas… need I say more?)

I plan on keeping a blog while I am away, so I would love for anyone who is interested, to follow.

Namaste,

Christie

  

No Room for Comparison 

Enough is enough. I’ve decided to make a promise to myself. A promise that I should have made long ago, and one that every person would benefit from making for themselves.

I promise to stop comparing myself to others.

It seems quite a simple commitment to make in such a small sentence; one that many people will know, that in reality, isn’t quite that easy. On the contrary, you may be reading this thinking, “Oh, I don’t do that anyway”, but let me ask you this: Can you honestly say that you never, ever judge yourself based on what others think of you (whether real or perceived), or that you don’t question your decisions with someone else’s beliefs or way of life at the back of your mind?

Perhaps you can, and if so, that’s wonderful. But for those of us that do need a little reminder, it’s time we took back our personal power and lived authentically!

When was the last time you stopped yourself mid-thought; wondering whether “X” would make the same decision? What would they do in the same situation? Should you do what they would do, or go with your own instinct? What would they think of your choices? Would you feel as though you’re being judged? Better still, what would society think of your the choices you make?

These are all questions that we need to stop asking ourselves when it comes to making life choices; whether it’s a big decision like changing careers, or an everyday choice such as whether you can afford to buy yourself that new book you’ve had your eye on.

Comparison comes in many forms. You may be comparing:

– Your career and the success you have in the workplace

– The way you look 

– Your relationships with others (family, marriage, friendships)

– The amount of money you earn 

– How you should ‘behave’ in certain situations 

…and the list could go on…

Now, let this sentence sink in for a moment:

Each time you compare yourself to another, you are taking away your own power.

Personally, I’m not too fussed with material things, such as having fashionable clothes, or the latest hairstyle. Comparing myself to someone based on what I have or don’t have, is not an issue for me (thankfully). For example, I couldn’t care less about owning a big fancy house; that’s not what’s important to me. I am however, happy for anyone who is able to have this for themselves, if that’s what brings them joy.

For me, at this point in my life, comparing my parenting choices to those of others (as well as what is ‘expected’ from society in general), is my greatest challenge, and one that I intend to put a stop to right now. The choices I make daily as a parent, is what I struggle with the most; even though in reality, I shouldn’t. The fact that I’ve been a parent now for almost thirteen years, have three children, and several years of early childhood education training and experience up my sleeve, still doesn’t seem to stop me from questioning my choices at times; simply because I am comparing myself to others, or wondering whether or not my decisions are ‘the best thing to do’ in societies’ eyes.

So, for anyone who finds themselves guilty of comparing themselves to others (in any form- not just parents), I ask you this:

Why do you allow yourself to do this? What makes you think that you are not capable or knowledgeable enough to make the best possible choices for yourself (or your children) without comparing yourself to others? Why do you even think that others would be judging you anyway, and if they are, why does it matter so much?

 

In my situation, there is quite a simple answer to this question. It’s because as a parent, I want the absolute best for my children; that’s a given. The choices I make however, should not be based on whether I think others would agree with me, or how other people might think or feel about my decision. I am the parent of my children, and ultimately, I know what’s best for them, based on how I want them to be raised.

If I co-sleep with my children because it helps me to get some sleep at night (and I sometimes like the snuggles myself), that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I take loved ones up on the offer to babysit my children for the night so my husband and I can go to the movies, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

If I enrol my children in daycare because I believe it is actually beneficial for their learning, that’s my choice. I own that choice.

And finally (this is a big one that I’ve been made to feel guilty about), if I want to go on a holiday and leave the kids at home with their Dad while I’m away, that’s my choice. I deserve a holiday and I own that choice.

It’s also important that I acknowledge the times where I don’t have the answers, or when I’m having a challenging time. 

When all I feel like doing is crawling up in bed and sleeping because the kids have kept me awake all night, that’s okay. I’m allowed to feel that way. 

When I sit my toddler in front of his favourite movie or give him the iPad to ‘keep him entertained’ so I can have a moment’s peace to fold the washing or heaven forbid, go to the toilet, that’s okay. I’m allowed to give myself some space.

When I’m so flustered from lack of sleep, trying to work from home, and having a nagging teenager, toddler and baby all wanting my attention at once, that I fall into a heap and have a good old cry, that’s okay. I’m human.

Obviously, these examples are based upon my personal situation, and are relating to parenting, however, this same concept can be adapted to any situation where you wish to take back your power and stop comparing or questioning your life choices. After all, who is in charge of your life? Is it society? Friends and family around you? Or you?

I promise to stop comparing myself to others. 

Do you?

   

 

Ten things to remind yourself today 

We all need a little reminder sometimes, and here are just a few things that you might like to reflect upon or remind yourself today.  1. You are doing your best with what you’ve got to work with at this moment in time, and that’s okay.

2. You can’t please everyone, and not everyone needs to like you. As long as you’re living your life truthfully, that’s all that matters.

3.  It’s vital that you take time for yourself and to do things you love, and to not feel guilty about it. 

4. The challenges you’re going through are for a reason, and are ultimately going to make you stronger and wiser.

5. Love yourself first. If you can genuinely do that, the rest will come easily.

6. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t try and squeeze everything into one day/week/year. There’s plenty of time, and it’s important to appreciate the journey.

7. Make time for rest. Put something off for a little longer if needed so you can recharge. 

8. Don’t own other people’s feelings or problems. Be compassionate, yes, but they are theirs to own, not yours. You have enough on your plate without other people’s stuff adding to it.

9. Breathe. Exhale all your worries, frustration, and anger… Allow any negative emotions to be releasd with each breath out. As you breathe in, allow nothing but love, joy, and positivity to flow through your body.

10. View everyone and everything from a place of love. Even the ordinarily most frustrating of people or situations can be dissolved by simply looking at it differently. Try it. 

I’d love to hear your feedback on any or all of these that you decide to try.